Saturday, February 16, 2013

Nighttime Rituals - Story

drip... drip... dripdrip... drip...

I'm awake. Again. I've rolled over and over trying to find a comfortable position. More accurately a quiet position. Someway that my mind will stop its incessant chatter. When I finally find it I hear the faucet I've been meaning to fix hammering away at the drain. Which in turn reminds me of another faucet which I'm sure is still leaking in it's pitter-patter rhythm. And that reminds me of her, and I start to roll again, kicking my sheets, flipping my pillow, grinding my teeth..

I don't know what time I finally got to sleep, but when I wake I'm groggy and irritable. The thoughts that had finally retreated from exhaustion immediately flood back making my bad mood even worse. I push back, quieting the shouts to a murmur in the recesses of my mind as I get ready for my day.

When I begin to brush my teeth I realize that I don't remember the last time I really looked at myself in the mirror. Oh, I've glanced now and then, fixed my hair, tied a tie, but I don't know when I actually looked. I find that I don't really know the face that looks back at me. When did those lines around my eyes and mouth get there? I've been putting on weight, why do my cheeks look so gaunt? I look... grim. I sigh and rinse my face off, hoping that maybe a few thousand hours of worry and sorrow will run down the drain with the water. Needless to say, I'm disappointed when I look back up.

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