At the edge - Story

With my eyes closed I can almost convince myself that I'm standing on a precipice. I hold my arms out and imagine my toes right at the edge of a cliff. I take a deep breath and try to sense the height of it.  Is it a hundred feet? A thousand? The only thing between me and the bottom is a cool breeze whistling it's way up the surface of the wall, tugging on my shirt, urging me to soar like the birds that nest there.I tilt my head towards the sun, letting it hit me full in the face. The heat of it warms my skin, but a shiver runs up my spine sending gooseflesh along my arms. I grit my teeth, forcing the emotions that rise in my chest back down, the thoughts to the back of my mind, quieting them to a murmur. I take another breath, whispering softly to myself, "I am completely broken." I try to say it matter-of-factly, without the anguish creeping in. I am not entirely successful. I drop my arms and lower my head. I pretend I'm looking off the ledge. How did I get here? Is there a way back? If I step off will I fall? Or fly? Lifting my foot I swing it out, ready to lean forward and find out. I open my eyes. I'm on the sidewalk. I'm still alone. I smile a smile that cannot touch my eyes. I keep walking. Home. Empty.