Monday, October 21, 2013
I'm dreaming. I simply have to be. There is no other logical explanation. The months leading up to this moment have given me no warning, no hints that I would be experiencing the things that have fallen seemingly from heaven to bring light and joy into my life. And now I feel I can scarcely breathe for fear that I will scare the dream away, like smoke fading before coalescing into something solid and lasting. I move, slowly and deliberately, placing my feet gently, trying to follow a dance that has no pattern. The only music playing is the rhythm of my heart pounding when she is near, faltering and yearning when she is away. Dare I whisper these things to her, though I wish to shout them as they fill my breast to overflowing? Are there even words to express the elation, the excitement, the serenity that I feel in her presence? I feel that I could speak for ages and barely begin to describe the luminous cloud that fills my mind and heart to distraction. My thoughts are only of this angel that has stepped into my life and filled me with desire and wonder to the extent that when I close my eyes I see her face and my pulse quickens with the memory of the feel of her. And yet I fear.. Dreams are fleeting, and this dream is far better than anything I could have hoped for. Does that mean it will be equally as brief? The thought fills me with dread, my feet halt in the waltz I have been dancing, and I imagine I stumble. And yet I smile, and trust that despite my faults and clumsy steps, that grace will shine on me and buoy me up and she will forgive me my hesitation..