Shivers

This is not the first time, nor will it be the last, when I should be going to sleep, but I find myself full of frustrated energy so I can't.
I'm getting really tired.. I'm tired of feeling so completely undesirable. Like my touch is the most foul thing on the planet. I miss being touched. Someone reaching out to tousle my hair or touch my arm or my face. Someone to slide up behind me as I'm trying to get to sleep and resting their hands on my back, the warmth of their body reaching out to caress my skin. Someone to genuinely smile at me because they WANT to be with me, not because they feel they have to.
Like I said.. I'm filled with frustration right now, and I don't know where to direct it all. I should sleep.. It's not like anyone is reading this anyway.